Here’s what you, the brave reader, need to know. Fire Down Below has a sequel. I know; everyone’s super surprised that Amazon allowed me to keep the poop-your-pants book up all this time.
In Fire in the Hole, Dove’s sausage-loving neighbor has realized he’s wildly in love with her lurchingly awkward butt. Johnson is the pharmacist of her dreams until he tells her over Twitter—goddamnit—that he has plans with an ex-girlfriend.
Duke scrapes Dove off her apartment floor and takes her to his cousin’s wedding. As Pissboy and Cross-eyed Knockers tie the knot, Duke could just kick himself in the balls when he sees Johnson and Beth at the same venue driving Dove insane with jealousy.
Will Dove give up everything, even her self-esteem, to get Johnson’s johnson between her legs? Or will the scent of spiced meat inspire Dove to rip off Duke’s sausage-and-egg underwear forever?
Yup. I can publish this. No law against it… yet.
This was unbelievably hilarious!
It was a fucking disaster of inappropriate behavior, comments and thoughts.
I never laughed so much in my life!
I can see why all of the comments in the beginning of the story are there!
This is a crazy funny story about friends, neighbors, social media and societies fucked up view of classicism.
I can't even believe this is a sequel.
Who knows what is in Book one but, I'm sure I'm half way to six pack abs
after reading this.
Hell with P90x, Debra Anastasia will do it in a couple hours. I caught all her shot outs to her homies and I was truly entertained
and engaged in this psychotic comedy. There aren't many words to explain it.
and find out WTF is so funny.
Fire in the Hole
Fire Down Below
Dove Glitch is embarrassed about everything above her knees and below her belly button. When she has to fill a delicate, embarrassing prescription the last thing she needs is a sexy-as-hell (and brand spanking new) pharmacist behind the counter.
Johnson Fitzwell’s first day of his dream career also happens to coincide with the exact moment Dove needs her feminine meds filled. His glorious voice is way too loud–as in, he should be counting down the hits with Ryan Seacrest kind of loud. Thanks to Johnson’s handsome face and gorgeous jaw line, Dove dives headlong into her waking nightmare and asks for a vagina-scented cream.
How could she not fall for him? Dove's only active goal now is to get Johnson to kiss her right on the lips. Either set. However, his horrible girlfriend is one of many obstacles preventing her from making that fantasy a reality. When Dove defends Johnson in the most unhygienic, unconventionally gross way in the middle of a crowded restaurant, their tender, slightly tantric relationship is off to a galloping, farting start.
Each print copy of this book will be dipped in holy water by my mom, and glared at by my father as he purses his lips. Neither will help. So, drop your pants and turn to the left and cough. I hope you're not allergic to latex, because it’s time to fill your prescription.
Leave a Comment with your most embarrassing bedroom moment
for a chance to win the e-set winner picked 9pm tonight